Past regression therapy….

Who was i??

An actor, a dancer or a person who was a social animal…. I think everybody in their lifetime thinks what were they in past life?? But somehow today they are so busy that they actually can’t recall and do not have that spare time to think about such stuff….. one of my friend is a tarot card reader… we have been friends for a long time…. Though she’s  much elder  than me, she understands  me as that is her work to do so. I was easily convinced by her that problems you face today in your present life have some or the other connection with your past life and that is why our inner conscious knows that  where are we wrong but we all tend to avoid it. I always wanted to know what I was in my past life and then I would be able to understand  why love is upset with me… is that just my misconception or it is really related to my past life..

Late night around 1 in the darkest hour of the night.. a boy looking for answers, with confused head, asking god and himself why me?? That was me who wanted to peep into my past life and see what exactly happened over there.

Once I start writing what experience I had, let me warn you all it sounds stupid and crazy. But that is how it was…… first vision….. I was sitting near the grave and weeping myself out, I was crying, weeping so loud that in the big place there was no one listen or help me out.

 I was into my past life, I can be so sure because while being in my subconscious I was crying… why was I crying??? What was the reason I was crying for?? All these questions were  going on in my subconscious mind. And the vision faded.

***

 The eyes that looked back at me were full of love and affection. No. The picture did not do justice to her beauty. The big, beautiful, gray eyes, always lined with kohl, the cute little nose and the nose stud she wore, the naturally pink lips all set in that heart-shaped face made her look like an angel. The smile, the dimples that the smile brought, the way her eyes brightened every time she smiled had taken my breath away every single time I’d looked at her, I’d considered himself lucky to have her. To have her love.

She’d promised to stay with me forever. Didn’t she tell me that no matter what, she’d always love me? Hadn’t she promised that even if I wanted her to leave, she wouldn’t because she loved me too much? Didn’t she tell me that she’ll never leave me alone? Then why?

Why did she go? Why did she leave me when I hadn’t even asked her to? Why did she break her promise? Where did the forever go?

I hadn’t asked her to leave. I couldn’t, ever. But, she did. For God wanted her to.

To see someone die is painful. It hurts. To see someone you love more than anything else in the world, die is excruciating.

I blamed myself for her death. No matter what my friends said, no matter how much my parents consoled me, no matter what HER parents said, I held myself responsible. The doctor had declared her brought dead and she’d died with my name on her lips and my hand in hers. i’d seen the pain on her face but I had also seen the love in her eyes.

If only I’d dropped her till her place that day. If only I had taken her words seriously when she said “she was scared to go home alone”, she wouldn’t have got “raped”  L yes that is what I saw she was raped  to death… that feeling I had was bad, degraded that how can that happen to her… but it did happened.

I looked below. 20,000 feet. I couldn’t even do that. I couldn’t even die. I knew I couldn’t end my life. The parents-mine and hers would not be able to take it. Her parents had lost their only child. myparents would lose theirs if I jumped.

I walked back to our home. The house she’d wanted since she was nineteen. I knew i’d  buy it. Buy it for her. But, there was no her.

 I wondered where she was. I wondered if she was watching me. Tears were flowing and I wondered if she was crying with me, wherever she was.

“I don’t want you to cry. Not a single tear, okay? I love you. Always have, always will,” I whispered crying out loud in front of her grave.

Two month later, I died in a road accident

I had the same family which I have right now…. And I could relate that girl whom I loved  to my present life, she was my best friend in this life… 

The past regression therapy ended and I came out of my first session. My eyes were heavy. My head was paining.  I was again and again thinking about it. I was feeling the volcano of feelings were there was pain, love, care,  feeling happy for someone and felt that what were the reason I was alive. My hands was speechless just crying my heart out and no one was there……